I want to hold your face in my hands, just so you can understand,
how I’ve missed those eyes,
dreading every single goodbye.
Put your ear to my chest,
Let my heartbeat do the rest.
I don’t have to say a word, but I promise you’ll have heard, the way I need you, the way I love you.
Breathing switches slow to fast,
make this moment last and last. Your lips on my skin, and then my arms you pin, just as it all begins.
I’m ready for this lust, with every touch I trust, that you’re right for me, that there’s no where I’d rather be.
I’ll stay up with you all night, until morning shines it’s light, savour every single kiss, and indulge in our bliss.
I remember the first day I saw you; judgement, negativity.
Last thing I expected was your uniqueness to eventually grasp my attention. “I can’t decide if being swept off my feet is a choice.” If your intention was to slowly display your interest, then babe you hit the nail. Complete surprise, breath of fresh air, what I’ve been searching for and missing for a long time without consciously knowing. Sometimes things need to be thrown in your face , and forced upon you for you to realize. Take advantage of my vulnerability, make the most of my desire, gain a step with my numb state and make me feel. I’m about to put up walls, I’m about to stand my guard, not allowing anyone to come in. Get to me before its too late, strike me with lust and rain on me with affection. Absolutely drench me. Don’t let me become scared again, don’t let me block the potential. Save me from myself while your saving me from the world. This path is dangerous, this risk keeps me short of breath, but I’m willing. Shine light on my darkness, pull me from the ground and bring me passion. You don’t know anything about me, but I bet your dying too. Make me feel small in comparison to your strength, show you can protect me, make me crave the touch of your hands, the feel of your skin. Give me a chance and I’ll fulfill your fantasies. This emotion in me is begging to be released. I’ll put you at a loss for words, and you’ll talk to me just by the look in your eyes; I swear I could get lost in them and I don’t want to find my way back.
Youl lie in my lap. As I caress your skin you keep your eyes closed. You need my touch, I’m your escape, with me you feel safe. Il run my fingers down your neck, behind your ear, just over your eye lids. I’ll gently touch your nose and you’ll open your eyes and look up at me to smile, that adorable way you do. Il run my fingers over your lips and you’ll slowly kiss them as they cross. I’ll put my hand to your heart, I know it’s there, pounding through your chest. I’ll put my hand to The perfect spot in The nape of your neck, and find your heart’s pulse. It will be one of the best feelings I could ever feel, because in that moment, I know it’s beating solely for me. No one can take that away. I’ll lean down, and kiss you so slowly, taking in the warmth of your lips, and the indescribable feeling of their touch to mine. This is love, this is what it should be.
Are these my dreams? Are my eyes closed and oblivious to the world.
Are these my hopes? Is this the burning fantasy within my heart.
Are these my wishes? Where I have desire for something that is so far out of reach.
Are these my prayers? Where I have faith in something I know is out of my control.
If not, if this is reality, then why, why would I ever believe we ever have a chance.
My heart is stitched within your chest and every movement
away from me tears and aches the wound holding us together.
Keep still, do not sigh or mourn and i promise time will
gently heal and allow us to grow into one,
stronger than ever.
Allow my breath to trace the outline of your limbs and give rise to bumps of lust upon your flesh.
Allow my lips to kiss every inch of your skin and close your eyes as you concentrate on the softness laid out all over your body.
Allow my hands to gently pull and run through your hair confirming my burning desire.
And allow my whisper to reach your ear so I can confess my uncontainable love.
Will your skin mourn the loss of my touch. Will your body scream at the piercing silence every night. Will your eyes be haunted by the darkness of my absence.
If your lips can promise me this, all I need is your gentle whisper and i’ll promise you a thousand times that i will never let you feel the cold of being alone.
My kiss will feel like home, my arms embrace will be will be your safety. My happiness will be yours.
one year later
did those actions matter?
more than I ever could of thought.
how could I have ever foreseen the current emotion I feel,
the current state I am in,
the memories i’ve created and the amazing things i’ve endured over the past 12 months.
Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever predicted everything that has happened. Everything I’ve felt, the joy, the happiness, the pain, the sadness.
I wouldn’t take it back for the world and I don’t regret one second.
I’ve been given a gift, and for that I will always express the most sincere gratitude and appreciation a person can give. I have had the best experiences of my entire life, never have I been so happy, never has a single person pulled out such desire from within me.
I couldn’t put in to words the the growth, the change, and the switch of perspective I’ve learned. I never thought it was possible, but I stand corrected.
I never thought I could feel so much comfort, and safety, lying in someone’s arms and looking into their eyes. I stand corrected.
I never thought I could experience such passion through a kiss, I stand corrected.
I never thought a person could make me happiest just by being in their presence, I stand corrected.
I never thought I could be so sensitive or feel the warmth of someone’s soul, just by their touch, I stand corrected.
I never thought one single person could force me to helplessly feel such a diverse range of emotion, but I stand corrected.
and after being so badly hurt, and so badly scarred, I never thought I could love again, but I’m right here standing, corrected.
The truth is we can’t predict the future, we can’t plan our or lives perfectly or always experience our expectations. Sometimes, we experience worse, but if we’re lucky, we exceed them. You honestly never know, how important one action might be, one encounter might be, one person might be, and what type of impact it will make in your life, and where you will be and if it will matter one year later.
It could mean absolutely anything.
It could mean everything,
or it could mean nothing.
We have to stop expecting, stop planning, stop predicting, and just live.
Just let life happen.
Life is such a beautiful thing, and the most beauty comes in the form of moments that have the most unexpected impacts on our lives. Not knowing they will lead to things that change our lives, and make us better people.
I can’t take it.
What am I feeling,
What am I thinking?
It’s never been like this before.
I want to show you everything.
You’ve pulled these desires out of me,
where did they come from.
I can’t deny them,
I want you.
No teasing (maybe just a little)
No playing (o.k, more than a little)
Push me, pin me, kiss me, feel me
Do anything you’d like dear,
just don’t deceive me.
What is this rush,
what is this lust?
Oh how i’m longing for your touch.
Doing what I want, not what I should.
Who knew insanity with you could feel so good.
Please don’t stop, please don’t quit,
Just play this leading role in my fantasy skit.
I don’t understand,
and I really don’t care.
What if it’s wrong? I’ll tell you it’s not fair.
Your heart, I want it.
Your skin, I crave it.
You attention, I need it.
So eliminate my curiosity
and this intense nervosity,
to ease my mind, and keep us inclined.
the yearn for your touch, in the middle of the night.
the unexpected embrace of comfort, waking me from my sleep.
the feeling of your fingers, tracing every part of me.
April 13 2012
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m just sitting here, thinking about how I’m losing you, and I can’t do anything but watch it all happen. My head buried into my palm, looking no where but down, trying to fight pure pain.
A grasp I once held so tight on you, is slowly getting weaker and weaker. You make me the happiest person in the world, why would I ever want to let go of that?
I was so terrified of losing you, I gripped too hard, and now your slipping through my fingers.
I’ve tried, and tried, and tried.
I truly believe there is nothing more I could of done, to show you how much you meant to me, and make sure you knew it every day.
I couldn’t have treated you better, I honestly couldn’t of.
I have no regrets. There is nothing else I could have done.
I gave you my all, I gave my everything. It’s not enough, I’m not enough,
and that’s the hardest part.
You needed me once, a lot.
I never thought it’d come to this.
Whispering everything you wanted in my ear.
Making me forget the world.
I’ll watch myself repair, again.
I’ll watch my heart fix itself, again.
I’ll watch my mind mend its thoughts, again.
I’ll wait, and wait, day by day, until the pain stops.
I’ll be okay, I think.
I’ve done it before, I remember, I’ve done this once.
I can do it again,